Never
by wellhowdythere
Summary: "And I woke one day, and I looked around, and I thought, my god. I'll never have the moon." Multiple pairings. Het and slash. Sasuke centric.


Never Have the Moon

**A/N: So we delve away from the realm of Kuroshitsuji for a short Sasuke fic…it presents him in a relationship with Naruto, Gaara and Sakura…you can decide who you want him to end up with. Slight SasuSaku bashing but otherwise I don't think there's any warnings needed…oh, and as a personal thing, I ship SasuNaru/NaruSasu.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. Not so sad about this because shippuden is becoming such a fail…**

**There is no playlist because this entire story is based on the song Stars and the Moon from Songs for a New World.**

The last year of high school, I met a man in the café I worked in on the weekends. He was loud, and irritating, and confident, and beautiful, all tousled blond hair, tanned skin and sparkling cornflower eyes. The first time we kissed, in the back of the shop, behind the counter, after my hours had ended, I swore I had never felt happier. And we spent the year caught up in each other. Every time I closed my eyes I saw that glittering smile and heard peals of laughter and my heart lifted.

I swore it was love.

That feeling that there was someone who finished my sentences, and brought me roses at work, and threw pebbles at my window and everything else that happened in cheesy movies- I thought it never would grow old.

I suppose it never did, it was not the feeling, but me who got older. As graduation approached, I prepared to head off to college to study law and saw Naruto for what he was- the man who worked at the market during the day, greeting others with that beautiful sunny smile, who had no money to his name, and had no dreams for the future- he was content to surround himself with friends and never leave the town that I had lived in all my life.

The town that I so desired to leave.

My family had never seen me as a somebody, and I feared that should they discover my relationship with Naruto, another man, I would be wiped off the family tree forever. So I got into a wonderful college, and the night before graduation, packed my bags, ready to leave for a life in the city.

Naruto, I told myself, was holding me back. He was nothing but a fling that had gone too far for too long, a pleasant memory to look back on in my adulthood. My hands trembled when he came for me that night, and wrapped me in his arms. I could hardly bear to end it. But I knew what I was doing was right. So even as he begged me not to go, I kept my face cold, showing not an inkling of this 'love'.

When I broke down and yelled that he was holding me back, that he had nothing to give me, he said "I'll give you stars and the moon and a soul to guide you and a promise I'll never go. I'll give you hope to bring out all the life inside you and the strength that will help you grow. I'll give you truth in a future that's twenty times better than anything in that city. What more could you want?"

He kissed me, and, for a moment, I considered staying, but I thought of the beautiful life in this city that I dreamed of, and how proud my parents would be when they saw me there, and I thought, I can do better.

So I turned my back, leaving him crying.

I never saw him again.

But I never forgot.

That summer, living lonely in my apartment in the city, I drove down the highway as far as I could, never stopping until I was completely lost and the sky above was growing dark, the stars cascading above me in the emptiness of the land. I pulled my car up at the only civilization nearby, a cheap diner, with Elvis music and fries, empty except for a frumpy old waitress and a man at the bar.

Lonely, fresh from high school, bored over the summer and distraught over my last relationship, I struck up a conversation with the man in the bar. His hair was red as blood and his eyes the green of jade, and he wore black leather from his head to his toes, which, added together with his tattoos, gave him a fierce look, to match his fierce and brooding personality. His name was Gaara, he said. He had left his wife and a child in Portland when he felt that he couldn't take the suffocation of the city anymore. Gaara was quiet and fearsome, but, when he spoke of freedom, and the life he had chosen, out on the road, just him, his bike and the highway and not a care in the world, his those jade eyes lit up like green fire.

We drank, that night, and shared our sorrows. We slept out in my car, watching the stars out of the front windshield, glowing beacons on the barren desert, and listened to the coyotes howl outside.

That night I dreamed of freedom, and wondered if I would ever get to taste it like Gaara had, if my eyes would light up with that fire.

The next morning, against the background of the rising sun and the closed diner, he asked if I would spare the week to ride with him. He said that he could give me a taste of real freedom, and he kissed me.

He tasted like fierce joy, the passion that comes with living wild, with no restraints but the ones that you have set for yourself.

I declined his offer, thinking of my beautifully scripted life in the city, and he said, "But you don't understand. I'll give you stars and the moon and the open highway and the river beneath your feet. I'll give you days full of dreams if you travel my way and a summer you can't repeat. I'll give you nights full of passion and days of adventure, no strings, just warm summer rain…just freedom, and us, and the road."

And I thought of the parties and the champagne in the city, and watched as the black figure drove off into the rising sun, and lifted my hand to give a small wave.

He didn't see the wave.

I never saw Gaara again.

Years later, when college was over and I passed my bar exam and had a successful job working in the city, I came across a woman, my client, who was wealthier than anyone I had met. She was green eyed, with hair a bubblegum pink, and beautiful, and enamored with me. After her case was over, won, she gave her address and phone number, and we kept in touch, forming a relationship.

This relationship carried on, not one of the scandalous flings of my youth but slowly and steadily, and, when I finally introduced her to my parents, I saw their faces flush with pride at the thought of their successful son with this wealthy and influential woman.

I didn't know which stars to thank.

I knelt by her side one day, and asked her to be my wife, and she kissed me. It tasted like sturdiness, sturdiness in our future. Together.

Her face was flooded with joy and excitement, and, seeing my face, said "This is wonderful. We'll be so happy together, Sasuke."

And I said to her, "What will you give?"

"I'll give you cars and a townhouse in Turtle Bay and suits and a diamond ring. And we'll get married in Spain on my yacht today and we'll honeymoon in Beijing. And you'll meet stars at the parties I throw in my villas in Nice and Paris in June…"

I looked at her and all I could think of was the life I had dreamt I would live, and I thought, "Okay".

And I took a breath.

And I got a yacht.

And the years went by.

And it never changed.

And it never grew.

And I woke one day, and I looked around, at my sleeping wife, and the diamond ring on my finger and the beautiful house I lived in.

But when I looked at beautiful Sakura, my wife, there was no spark.

And I thought, "My god. I'll never have the moon."

**A/N: I hope you liked it and had a wonderful Halloween! I know I did **** I went to school in Ciel cosplay…what a great experience.**

**Most of this story is based off the song, which I love.**

**Much love,**

**Read and review,**

**W.H.T.**


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